To Jump or Not to Jump: The Cost of Disobedience

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

Philippians 4:6, NLT (emphasis mine)

Photo by chris liu on Unsplash

When I started college, I left behind my nine-year dance career, and I felt it. As I mourned my loss of physical activity (paired with unsupervised snacking and a college cafeteria diet), a friend suggested I join the track team. They accepted walk-ons, and I was already trained in jumping and leaping. Oh, how I wish that I had prayed about that decision.

But I didn't. I did it because I thought it made sense. I didn't take to heart the command to pray about everything. I barely even thought about it—probably figuring this decision was amoral, and God wouldn't mind if I did it.

This decision left me with three major consequences.

First—the obvious—I developed patella-femoral syndrome, shin splints, and plantar fasciitis. Fifteen years later, I still experience consistent foot pain as well as knee and shin pain that worsens with exercise. It is hard to find shoes that provide enough arch support to give me relief, and even then, I often need to use an orthotic insert.

The pain of these conditions led me to the physical trainer, who instructed me to use ibuprofen regularly. Have you ever read the warning label on an ibuprofen bottle? One reads STOMACH BLEEDING WARNING.

Around this time, between my freshman and sophomore years, I developed severe fatigue (weird when I had just increased my activity level, right?), stomach pain, digestion issues, increased susceptibility to illness, and trouble focusing. Later, I discovered that my symptoms were those of Celiac Disease, an autoimmune disorder in which ingestion of gluten causes the body to attack the villi inside the small intestine, which are responsible for absorbing nutrients. While Celiac is a genetic condition, it is also triggered by environmental factors, including exposure to gluten, and such as overuse of particular drugs. While I can't be 100% certain that I would be free of Celiac had I not participated in Track & Field, I suspect that the multiple-times-a-day use of ibuprofen for nine months contributed to my development of the disease, due to its effect on my GI system. So, count that consequence number two.

Finally—being on the track team exposed me to certain people. People who were at Westmont College not to serve the Lord but because they were offered an athletic scholarship to go to a prestigious private school. Some of my peers had a negative influence on my morals, chipping away at my strong stances on physical purity, substance use, and media consumption. Through track, I met a young man whom I later dated and became engaged to, which created heartache, familiar turmoil, and compromise of values. Again, I could have met him even if I didn't participate in track, but that was the environment where I first saw him and became interested in him, and I felt a connection to him due to our participation in similar field events. He ended up being a gaslighter and pathological liar, and I wonder if I wouldn't have been so susceptible to being misled had I not immersed myself in the world of collegiate athletes.

That makes three.

Don't misunderstand. There is nothing inherently wrong with Track & Field. It's simply a way to strengthen your body, challenge yourself, release stress, develop a teamwork mindset... I could go on and on about its potential benefits. It is morally neutral, to be sure. However, I do not believe it was God's best for me, and how I wish that I could have avoided the lifelong ramifications.

My point? If I had prayed carefully about the decision to join the track team (as I had also been consistently studying my Bible and surrounding myself with Christ-honoring community), I believe I would have sensed God's direction not to move forward. This is so important because we just don't know what kind of consequences our decisions might have. It's impossible for us to predict the butterfly effects in our lives—but God is all-knowing, and good, and He loves us. And He has promised us:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5–6, NIV

Fortunately, God is merciful and all about redemption. He has brought healing into my life and such joy and peace when I have returned to His path. But some of the scars of my disobedience still remain. Don't be discouraged—I still have hope that someday, He will wipe away every tear (Rev. 21:4) and give us new, glorified bodies (Phil. 3:21). Still, the scars are a reminder to seek his direction in everything. You never know what He might be saving you from.

Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash