Not Just a Cutesie Card

Most people might think the card above is just a kitschy little token from their parents on a minor holiday. The fact that my husband and I received this was a way bigger deal to me.

Ten years ago, it would have been a statistical impossibility to receive something like this from my parents. At the time, I was engaged to the wrong guy. We were terrible at communicating and resolving conflict; we weren't compatible in terms of where our faith journeys were at, how our minds worked, or our personalities. But I was trying to make it work, based on attraction and flattery, and honestly, I was licking my wounds from a deeper affection that hadn't been returned.

It was one of the hardest things to be engaged to someone that my parents thought wasn't a good match. And worse, they felt God was even telling them that something was off. Deep down, I think I knew, but I wanted to hold on—we had already set a wedding date—and, subconsciously, what if no one else would ever want me? I wasn't a quitter. I had studied Conflict and Reconciliation, you know. So if things were hard, then that meant we just needed to keep working through it.

It was when my mom told me, "It's not supposed to be this hard, especially before you're married," that I finally realized I was not in tune with God's direction for my life. The weight melted off of me as I responded to God's gentle pull on my heart to let go of something toxic.

Two years later, I skeptically and sort of sarcastically created a Christian Mingle account. I always wanted to be that person who met their spouse at church camp, or at least at college. But the college relationship didn't work out. God had the perfect man for me, and He was about to show me the sense of humor He really had. After four days, I deleted my account. But I kept talking to the man I had met. Something seemed to click instantly. And when my dad met him in person, one hour into dinner, he waved at me under the table and gave me a thumbs up. I basically had a mini heart attack.

After two and a half years of marriage, I don't take it for granted when I see my husband teasing my mom or nerding out with my dad. It is an incredible gift.

And after God has moved my husband and me all around the state, we have moved back to my home area and have begun attending the very same church where I had been planning a wedding with the wrong guy. Sitting in the sanctuary, singing about God's mercy and unrelenting pursuit of me despite my rebellion and ignorance, has never been so profound.

There are a few lessons I've learned from this.

1. Sometimes your parents really do know best.

2. Sometimes your parents can be wrong and also right about different things at the same time.

3. You often need the perspectives of others to help correct your biases (and your sin).

4. If you have to try really hard at something and keep facing obstacles and don't feel God's peace, sometimes it isn't meant to be. It all comes down to God's peace though; since sometimes He DOES call us into really hard situations where we keep facing obstacles.

5. Even when you feel like you're too far gone, God isn't finished with you. He is always patiently pursuing you, the Hound of Heaven.

   
   

There are more lessons, of course, like God's timing is perfect and better than our own—but I know that I personally don't usually reach the end of super long blog posts.

Happy Valentine's Day, friends. May we each deeply experience the unrelenting love of God.