Smashed-Up Glass (a Song for the Lost)

{Reposted from December 2020}

The holiday season can be a very painful time for those who have lost family. Both in the sense of a) they have passed on from this earthly existence or b) they have not yet been found in Christ.

Sometimes—even if you haven’t had voice lessons in years (which I haven’t) and you’re a self-trained guitarist who only knows like 5 chords (which I am)—you feel something so strongly that the only way you can express these overwhelming emotions is to work it out musically. (Think “I Can Only Imagine” or “Christmas Shoes” or whatever other song makes you cry.) 

Sometimes an obscure metaphor is the only thing that seems to capture your broken heart. 

This is simply a deeply felt prayer set to music. I'll be honest. In the years that have passed since this song was written, I have stopped praying for my lost loved ones. I have felt despair and wondered why I should keep praying for someone who has expressly said they do not want my prayers and have rejected me and my God. But "If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them" (Luke 6:32). So, out of obedience, I return to this prayer.

Smashed-Up Glass (a Song for the Lost)

Do you know why I was crying last night?
Tear-stained pillow muffling my cries
Can’t keep it together
The brokenness all around fractures
I’m just smashed up glass desperately pressing against itself until I let go

Remnants of a stained window scattered across empty pews
The disappointed people left because they didn’t see You
They said You didn’t deliver on the promises You offered
So they gave up and walked out with their hearts searching for something more

 And I said
 Please don’t forget about them
 Hound of Heaven, won’t You come?
 They’re still breathing
 It’s not too late to show them who You really are 

All I can hear is a ticking clock
In this room where I sit alone
Under a hot spotlight but I’m chilled to the bone

And you were there and we’re hugging and crying
And everything is at peace
I opened my eyes and realized it was just a dream

God knows I’ve been hurt too by those who claim His Name
Let down and betrayed, trust me, I feel your pain 
I know I’m not perfect
Of hypocrisy I’ve had my share
But thank God for second chances and that He’s always there

So please don’t forget about Him
The One who loves you waits for you
It’s not too late to find out who He really is 

And I will never give up on you
You’re in my prayers everyday
And God knows He will never give up on us
It’ll never be too late to pray

• • •

Featured photo by freestocks on Unsplash